圣誕笑話英文

圣誕笑話英文篇一：英語笑話。。圣誕節(jié)

一．A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現(xiàn)在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了！一個(gè)爐子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我買兩個(gè)爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎？”

二．Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告��！布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。” 12月25日，是基督教徒紀(jì)念耶穌誕生的日子，稱為圣誕

節(jié)。

從12月24日于翌年1月6日為圣誕節(jié)節(jié)期。節(jié)日期間，各國基督教徒都舉行隆重的紀(jì)念儀式。圣誕節(jié)本來是基督教徒的節(jié)日，由于人們格外重視，它便成為一個(gè)全民性的節(jié)日，是西方國家一年中最盛大的節(jié)日，可以和新年相提并論，類似我國過春節(jié)。

西方人以紅、綠、白三色為圣誕色，圣誕節(jié)來臨時(shí)家家戶戶都要用圣誕色來裝飾。紅

色的有圣誕花和圣誕蠟燭。綠色的是圣誕樹。它是圣誕節(jié)的主要裝飾品，用砍伐來的杉、 柏一類呈塔形的常青樹裝飾而成。上面懸掛著五顏六色的彩燈、禮物和紙花，還點(diǎn)燃著圣 誕蠟燭。

紅色與白色相映成趣的是圣誕老人，他是圣誕節(jié)活動(dòng)中最受歡迎的人物。西方兒童在

圣誕夜臨睡之前，要在壁爐前或枕頭旁放上一只襪子，等候圣誕老人在他們?nèi)胨�后把禮物 放在襪子內(nèi)。在西方，扮演圣誕老人也是一種習(xí)俗。

Christmas, annual Christian holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. Most members of the Roman Catholic Church and followers of Protestantism celebrate Christmas on December 25, and many celebrate on the evening of December 24 as well. Members of the Eastern Orthodox Church usually delay their most important seasonal ceremonies until January 6, when they celebrate Epiphany, a commemoration of the baptism of Jesus. Epiphany also traditionally commemorates the arrival of the Three Wise Men of the East in Bethlehem (near Jerusalem, Israel), where they adored the infant Jesus and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The official Christmas season, popularly known as either Christmastide or the Twelve Days of Christmas, extends from the anniversary of Christ’s birth on December 25 to the feast of Epiphany on January 6.

Christmas is based on the story of Jesus’ birth as described in the Gospel according to Matthew (see Matthew 1:18-2:12) and the Gospel according to Luke (see Luke 1:26-56). Roman Catholics first celebrated Christmas, then known as the Feast of the Nativity, as early as 336 ad. The word Christmas entered the English language sometime around 1050 as the Old English phrase Christes maesse, meaning “festival of Christ.” Scholars believe the frequently used shortened form of Christmas—Xmas—may have come into use in the 13th century. The X stands for the Greek letter chi, an abbreviation of Khristos (Christ), and also represents the cross on which Jesus was crucified.

圣誕笑話英文篇二：圣誕節(jié)英語笑話有哪些_推薦三則

圣誕節(jié)英語笑話有哪些?推薦三則

圣誕節(jié)英語笑話有哪些?推薦數(shù)三則

圣誕節(jié)英語笑話一.the thief and the judge

it was christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "what are you charged with?" he asked."doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"that's no offense," replied the judge, "how early were you doing this shopping?"

"before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官與小偷

那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心�！澳銥槭裁炊�被起訴?”他問。

“采購圣誕節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。

“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”

在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。

圣誕節(jié)英語笑話二.jesus&

#39;s telly

a child on christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. eventually the artistic masterpiece was

displayed for parental approval. the manager, the shepherds, jesus and holy family wore duly admired.

圣誕笑話英文篇三：幼兒英語口語,圣誕節(jié)的英文小笑話

幼兒英語口語，圣誕節(jié)的英文小笑話

The thief and the judge

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官與小偷

那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心�！澳銥槭裁炊�被起訴？”他問�！安少徥フQ節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。

“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早？”

在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。

Jesus's Telly

A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired."But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.

"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.

耶穌的電視機(jī)

圣誕節(jié)時(shí)孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最后這件藝術(shù)品被陳列出來供父母鑒賞。

他們對(duì)耶穌誕生后睡的馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示贊賞。

“可是那個(gè)角落里是什么？”媽媽問。

“噢，那是他們的電視機(jī)，”孩子回答說。

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么？

答案：鋤地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。）On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會(huì)將它撿起？

答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦！為什么？因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾�道另外兩者并不存在�?/p>

A dog runs through the snow during snowfall in Vienna, January 17, 2012.Ever wonder how dogs can walk barefoot in the snow? Now a Japanese scientist may have the answer -- an internal central heating system.

The secret lies in how dogs circulate their blood to prevent cold surfaces from chilling the rest of their bodies, according to Hiroyoshi Ninomiya, a professor at Yamazaki Gakuen University, just west of Tokyo.

The system uses warm, oxygenated blood to heat the cold blood that has been in contact with a cold surface before returning it to the dog's heart and central circulation.

"Dogs exchange heat at the end of their legs. Arterial blood flows to the end of their legs and then heats up venous blood before returning it to the heart," Ninomiya said of his findings, published in the journal Veterinary Dermatology.

"In other words, they have a heat exchange system in their feet."Ninomiya studied a preserved dog's leg under an electron microscope and found that because of the proximity of arteries and veins in the foot pad, the heat in the blood carried from the heart to the arteries is easily conducted to the cooler blood in the veins.

This heat transference maintains a constant temperature in the foot pad, even when exposed to extremely cold conditions.

Dogs are not alone in having this sort of heat exchange system, which is shared by other animals such as dolphins, Ninomiya said.

But not all dogs thrive in the cold, due to refining by breeders seeking specific traits, he added.

"Dogs evolved from wolves, and so they still have some of that ancestry remaining," he said.

"But that doesn't mean that one should always go and drag around in the snow all the time. There are many varieties of dogs nowadays that are not able to stand the cold."

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