愚人節(jié)的笑話

愚人節(jié)的笑話篇一：愚人節(jié)笑話：伊拉克戰(zhàn)爭

1、白宮記者招待會上：

布什先生，您有伊拉克擁有大規(guī)模殺傷性武器的證據(jù)嗎?

有，我們保留了伊拉克當(dāng)初買軍火時開的支票。

2、美國人是多么富于進取精神!薩達姆一宣布對炸死美軍士兵的人予以重獎，他們馬上就開始自相殘殺。

3、布什對美國人民說：我們的飛機和平地轟炸他們的城市，敵人卻陰險地進行了攻擊。

4、布什緊急召開其軍事顧問：你為什么不在戰(zhàn)前警告我，在伊拉克除了沙漠之外還有城市?

5、英國拘捕俄羅斯金融寡頭別列佐夫斯基，是為了后者為繼續(xù)伊拉克戰(zhàn)爭提供資金。

6、我真的不明白，為什么布什要和英國交戰(zhàn)，卻偏偏選中了伊拉克這塊地方?

7、您還相信國際法?您還不知道什么叫民主?您還在自力更生開采石油?那么，我們飛過去幫助你們!

8、英美聯(lián)軍宣稱已攻下烏姆蓋斯?fàn)柍沁@已經(jīng)是開戰(zhàn)之來的第四座被聯(lián)軍攻下的烏姆蓋斯?fàn)柍橇恕?/p>

9、擊落美國飛機的伊拉克農(nóng)民在接受采訪時說：飛機就在我的頭頂上飛：我瞄準(zhǔn)、射擊，便擊落了它!又飛過來一架飛機，我瞄準(zhǔn)、射擊，又把它打掉下來了。但是后來我槍里沒子彈了，可是飛機還在飛呀飛呀!

10、據(jù)后來通訊社報道，美國飛機投下了一枚核彈頭落入英軍基地。據(jù)美國五角大樓和英國國防部的高級官員透露，有七名英國軍人在這次意外事故中受傷。

11、五角大樓的軍事分析家證實，戰(zhàn)爭將不會持續(xù)很長時間如果伊拉克人停止參與這場戰(zhàn)爭的話。

愚人節(jié)的笑話篇二：愚人節(jié)英語笑話

愚人節(jié)英語笑話

1. why are people tired on april fool's day? (愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌＞?)

答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因為他們剛過了長長的三月。march 三月;行軍)

2.what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天氣?)

答：when it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )

3.when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么時候不愿跟隨主人?)

答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市場時。flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 )

4.what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪個問題永遠不能回答“是的”?)

答：are you asleep? (你睡著了嗎)

5.what tree is always very sad? (那種樹總是很傷心?)

答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹)

6.when can you get water with a net? (什么時候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時)

7.why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒完沒了地吃?

答：he's making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。

8.what's the longest word in the world?世界上最長的單詞是什么? 答：smiles. because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因為兩個字母s中間隔了一里。

9.what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么問題你只能回答“yes”?

答："what does y-e-s spell?" (當(dāng)別人問你)“yes”怎么拼?

10.where were you when the power was cut off? 當(dāng)停電的時候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中

愚人節(jié)的笑話篇三：十個愚人節(jié)經(jīng)典英文笑話 免費下載

The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

瑞士面條樹

spaghetti harvest1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded

spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC

diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

1957年愚人節(jié)BBC新聞中說，瑞士的面條樹大豐收，農(nóng)民都在樹上收割面條。大量觀眾上當(dāng)受騙，打電話來咨詢面條樹的種植方法。BBC對此的回復(fù)是：把一根面條插在番茄醬里，然后就等著吧。

小編點評：面條樹都有人信，不知道搖錢樹有沒有人信？

Sidd Finch

虛擬棒球天才

Sidd Finch1985: Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton。

1985年愚人節(jié)，運動畫刊雜志發(fā)布一條假消息，稱一個名為Sidd Finch的新人棒球投球手，能投出168mph時速的球，比當(dāng)時記錄高出65mph；而且這位

新人之前都沒有玩過棒球！他在一個西藏的寺廟里學(xué)會了投球的藝術(shù)。大批棒球粉絲因此被騙。其實這個只是文章作者瞎編的。

小編點評：要在中國，你說男足出了一個天才，誰信？

Instant Color TV

即時彩色電視

image1962: In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The

station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

1962年愚人節(jié)，當(dāng)時瑞典還只有一個電視頻道，

而且是黑白的。電視臺的技術(shù)人員當(dāng)天在新聞中說，彩色電視已經(jīng)研發(fā)成功，用戶只需拿一雙尼龍襪蓋在電視屏幕上就行。還真有人信了。

小編點評：我如果說，滬江網(wǎng)全面升級，成為全球第一家3D網(wǎng)站，你們信么？

The Taco Liberty Bell

塔可自由鐘

Taco Liberty Bell1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was

renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial。

1996年愚人節(jié)，塔可鐘快餐公司說他們買下了美國費城獨立廳的大鐘，并重命名為塔可自由鐘。憤怒的市民打電話給費城的國家歷史公園，要求確認這個消息。幾小時后塔可鐘快餐公司承認這只是個玩笑。當(dāng)天最烏龍的事件(來自:www.zuancaijixie.com 蒲公英文 摘:愚人節(jié)的笑話)還不在此。白宮記者會秘書Mike McCurry被問到這件事時，隨機應(yīng)變回答說，林肯紀(jì)念碑也被賣了，現(xiàn)在被命名為福特水星汽車紀(jì)念碑。

小編點評：這位秘書真有娛樂精神。咱也可以說，張家界的“哈利路亞”山被外星人收購了……

San Serriffe

虛擬國家

image1977: The British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital

相關(guān)熱詞搜索：愚人節(jié) 笑話 愚人節(jié)笑話 愚人節(jié)整人笑話