煩心事太多的說(shuō)說(shuō)【老外也有煩心事】

　　編者按： 　　“雙語(yǔ)視窗”欄目從2006年開(kāi)辦，至今已經(jīng)走過(guò)了2年的歷程，這些由在華外國(guó)友人撰寫(xiě)的小文章，以他們?cè)谌A所見(jiàn)所聞為切入點(diǎn)，生動(dòng)具體地反映出東西方觀念、習(xí)俗的異同，也向我們提出了一個(gè)個(gè)既有趣又值得深思的問(wèn)題。欄目一再連載得益于讀者反饋中的正面回應(yīng)。
　　“不識(shí)廬山真面目，只緣身在此山中”，換一個(gè)角度，從外國(guó)友人目光的折射中審視一下自己，更有助于我們?nèi)�面地了解自身。同時(shí)，本欄目采用英漢對(duì)照形式，這些原汁原味的英文不僅有助于加深對(duì)作者原意的理解，也是一本學(xué)習(xí)現(xiàn)代英語(yǔ)的鮮活教材。
　　
　　不久前在北京舉行了一個(gè)很有意思的講座，內(nèi)容是關(guān)于住在中國(guó)的老外們的心理問(wèn)題。主講人是瑞典的一位心理學(xué)家，她在中國(guó)已經(jīng)工作好幾年了。講座之后，來(lái)自世界各國(guó)的聽(tīng)眾就各自的問(wèn)題自由發(fā)言。
　　讓我感到驚奇的第一件事就是參加這一講座的人數(shù)之多，以及主講人講話時(shí)大廳里那出奇安靜的氣氛。而形成對(duì)照的是，允許提問(wèn)的時(shí)間一到，很多人都舉起了手要求發(fā)言，好像這兒的每個(gè)老外要么自己有心理問(wèn)題，要么認(rèn)為某個(gè)老外有心理問(wèn)題。我曾在北京的一家國(guó)際診所工作過(guò)，聽(tīng)說(shuō)很多外國(guó)人酗酒或找其他方式來(lái)發(fā)泄心中的煩惱與不快。在診所我也見(jiàn)到過(guò)因發(fā)泄方式不當(dāng)引起的某些后果。當(dāng)然，只有極端的案例才會(huì)在醫(yī)院出現(xiàn)，你看不到老外們?nèi)粘Ｉ�活中的不自在�?
　　使我受到震動(dòng)的第二件事是所提問(wèn)題的質(zhì)量相當(dāng)高。顯然，很多人早就對(duì)他們的困惑進(jìn)行了思考與分析。參加講座的多數(shù)人是女性，我認(rèn)為這是因?yàn)檫@里的女性也是妻子和母親，因此要關(guān)心全家的安康，并且要了解子女或配偶身上所顯示出來(lái)的令人不安的舉止。而在北京的外國(guó)男人通常很忙，投身于工作之中，他們的妻子留在家里來(lái)應(yīng)付日常生活問(wèn)題：孩子們?cè)趯W(xué)校的表現(xiàn)還行嗎？他們結(jié)交了新朋友嗎？……妻子們常有時(shí)間與普通的北京人打交道，很多人在學(xué)中文，并學(xué)著與出租司機(jī)與售貨員聊天。做每天例行的事時(shí)，她們知道自己受到好奇眼光的注視，并且經(jīng)常受到“嘲笑”，而這些加重了她們的心理負(fù)擔(dān)。
　　我注意到的第三件事，是來(lái)自不同國(guó)家的人所提的問(wèn)題迥然不同，這反映了他們硬著頭皮在中國(guó)環(huán)境中生活的能力也不同。自然，所有的問(wèn)題都是用英文提問(wèn)，但從不同的口音很容易區(qū)分出她來(lái)自哪里，就算聽(tīng)不出來(lái)，很多人在開(kāi)始發(fā)言時(shí)都會(huì)介紹自己的國(guó)籍。來(lái)自北美的老外與來(lái)自歐洲的老外所存在的問(wèn)題看來(lái)就很不一樣。
　　我猜想多數(shù)中國(guó)人認(rèn)為白人老外就是美國(guó)人。乘出租車(chē)與司機(jī)聊天，你就可以了解很多普通百姓在這方面所持的偏見(jiàn)及模式化的看法。只要我一說(shuō)“你好”，用中文告訴司機(jī)我要去哪兒，他們就會(huì)用傳統(tǒng)的帶有夸張的方式來(lái)稱贊你的中文。之后，他們就會(huì)問(wèn)我是不是美國(guó)人，而我說(shuō)不是，這顯然使他們很失望：不知為什么，我作為一個(gè)法國(guó)女人，好像就不算是百分之百的老外。在中國(guó)人眼里，歐洲人或非洲人居何種地位？這對(duì)于理解外國(guó)人在中國(guó)的境遇和他們的感受是至關(guān)重要的。
　　但我重點(diǎn)想講的，正如我感覺(jué)到的，則是歐洲人與美國(guó)人的區(qū)別。歐洲人有著一種共享的文化，一種共同的基礎(chǔ)，在此之上又加上了特殊的層面（比如說(shuō)法國(guó)文化，德國(guó)文化）。有文化的歐洲人通常對(duì)歷史、藝術(shù)、哲學(xué)很感興趣，對(duì)不同的文化和語(yǔ)言有好奇心，對(duì)文化上的沖突也不覺(jué)得新鮮。因?yàn)闅W洲國(guó)家樂(lè)于宣稱自己國(guó)家的文化與鄰國(guó)是多么不同。對(duì)于歐洲人來(lái)說(shuō)，問(wèn)題是彼此的差別有多大，而差別本身并非是問(wèn)題。
　　相比之下，美國(guó)人來(lái)自一個(gè)說(shuō)一種語(yǔ)言、共享一種基礎(chǔ)文化的大國(guó)。你所看到的住在美國(guó)東海岸與西海岸的人們的差別，并不像不同歐洲文化之間的差別那樣大。美國(guó)是個(gè)年輕國(guó)家，歷史很短，美國(guó)文化不像歐洲文化那樣清晰，美國(guó)文化容易受外界的影響，自身不太穩(wěn)定。我認(rèn)為這就是為什么在北京的美國(guó)人特別容易有心理問(wèn)題的原因，他們不具有像歐洲那樣清晰、能夠抵制外來(lái)作用的文化來(lái)與中國(guó)文化抗衡，他們的社會(huì)特征不太穩(wěn)固。他們常常把自己封閉起來(lái)，在人們心目中成為美國(guó)電影里夸大了的怪人。
　　我相信，對(duì)中國(guó)人來(lái)說(shuō)，要看出這些差別是很困難的，而對(duì)外國(guó)人來(lái)說(shuō)，這些差別則是很明顯的。由于語(yǔ)言障礙及缺少接觸途徑，幾乎沒(méi)有幾個(gè)中國(guó)人真正“了解”各類的外國(guó)人。中國(guó)人需要長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的開(kāi)放，以及與外國(guó)人進(jìn)行各個(gè)層面的密切接觸，才能獲得這方面的感知力。
　　（本文作者24歲，法國(guó)姑娘，現(xiàn)在北京工作，嫁給了一位中國(guó)小伙子。本文原文是英文。）
　　
　　原文：
　　Not long ago a very interesting lecture on the psychological problems that occur among foreigners living in China was given in Beijing. The speaker was a Swedish professional psychologist who has worked here for several years. After the lecture the audience, drawn from countries all over the world, could talk freely about specific cases.
　　The first thing that astonished me was the number of people attending and the profound silence that reigned in the lecture hall while the psychologist was speaking. As soon as the question-and-answer period arrived, in contrast, many people raised their hands to talk. It seemed as if every laowai in town either had a psychological problem or knew someone with one. I had been working at an international clinic in Beijing and so had heard about the many expatriates who drink or find other ways to deal with their anguish or unhappiness in China. In the clinic I had also seen some of the results.
　　Of course, only the extreme cases turn up in medical facilities; you don’t witness the everyday uneasiness felt by many foreigners living in China. The second thing that struck me was the quality of the questions.
　　It was obvious that many people had already been pondering and analyzing their difficulties for some time. The great majority of the people at the lecture were women, but I presume that this is because such women are also wives and mothers, hence concerned about their family’s well-being and aware of worrisome behavior manifested by their children or their spouse
　　Foreign men living in Beijing are typically very busy and absorbed in their work. Their wives are left to cope with the day-to-day problems:Are the kids doing okay in school, have they formed new friendships, etc.The wives often have time to interact with ordinary Beijingers. Many study Chinese and learn to hobnob with taxi-drivers and cashiers. They know that they are watched, that they are frequently laughed at as they go about their daily routines, and this can weigh on their spirit.
　　The third thing I noted at the lecture was the huge difference in the questions coming from people of different nationalities, reflecting very different capacities to come to terms with living in a Chinese environment.Naturally the questions were all being asked in English, but accents made it easy to tell who was from where, and in any case many people identified themselves by nationality when they began to speak.The North Americans seemed to have problems rather unlike those reported by continental Europeans.
　　I gather that most Chinese assume white foreigners are Americans.Taking taxis and chatting with the drivers, one learns a lot about the many prejudices, preconceptions and stereotypes held by ordinary Chinese.
　　As soon as I say hello and tell them where I want to go in Chinese, they reply with the conventional exaggerated praise.
　　They then ask if I’m American, and my negative answer plainly disappoints them: Somehow as a Frenchwoman I don’t rate as a 100-percent foreigner. What position do Europeans or Africans occupy in Chinese eyes?This is crucial to understanding what they meet with in China and how they feel here.
　　But what I would like to focus on is the difference, as I perceive it, between Europeans and Americans. Continental Europeans have a strong shared culture, a common base onto which a more particular layer (of specifically French culture, say, or German) is added
　　Educated Europeans are usually quite interested in history, art and philosophy; they are curious about different cultures and languages.They are also used to cultural confrontation, as European countries are quick to assert how distinct their national culture is from that of their neighbors. For Europeans the question is how great the difference is; the difference is not in itself a problem.
　　Americans, in contrast, come from a big country with one language and one shared basic culture. The differences you notice between the inhabitants of the US east coast and west coast are not as big as the gap between different European cultures. The country is new, the history shorter.American culture is not as strongly defined as European cultures; it is more open to outside influences and less stable. I think that this is why Americans in Beijing are particularly prone to psychological difficulties: They do not have such a strongly defined and resistant culture to oppose to Chinese culture. Their identity is less stable. They too often withdraw into themselves and become exaggerated caricatures.
　　It is, I believe, very hard for Chinese to detect these differences, many of which are obvious to a foreign observer. Few Chinese, hampered by the language barrier and lack of access, ever actually “know” a foreigner of any kind. They will need a long period of openness and intense contact at many levels of experience to acquire this sensitivity.省略）
　　 責(zé)編：周瑾

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