英語簡短幽默故事

英語簡短幽默故事篇一：簡單的英語幽默小故事

簡單的英語幽默小故事

1

Mr. Jones had a few days? holiday, so he said, “I?m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off.

Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too.

The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back?” they asked.

“No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there?s no name and no address in my hat, and there?s a name and address on the bag. Someone?s going to find both of them near each other, and he?s going to send me the bag and the hat.”

2

An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock.

The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his pocket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.”

But the old lady did not see this. She went to the man, put the keys in his hand and said, “Young man, you?re stupid! Never leave your keys in your car: someone?s going to steal it!”

The man looked at the old woman for a few seconds. Then he

looked at the clerk—and then he took his keys, ran out of the bank, got into his car and drove away quickly, without any money.

3

Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You?re six years old now, Mary, and you?re going to begin going to a school here. You?re going to like it very much, because it?s a nice school.”

“Is it an English school?” Mary asked.“Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o?clock, and Mary ran out of her class.

“We?ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She?s six years old too, and she?s very nice, but she isn?t English. She?s German.”

“Does she speak English?” Mary?s mother asked.“No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.

4

Mrs. Jones did not have a husband, but she had two sons. They were big, strong boys, but they were lazy. On Saturdays they did not go to school, and then their mother always said, “Please cut the grass in the garden this afternoon, boys.” The boys did not like it, but they always did it.

Then somebody gave one of the boys a magazine, and they saw a picture of a beautiful lawn-mower in it. There was a seat on it, and there was a woman on the seat.

The boy took the picture to his mother and brother and said to them, “Look, that woman?s sitting on the lawn-mower and driving it and cutting the grass. We want one of those.”

“One of those lawn-mowers?” his mother asked. “No,” the boy said. “We want one of those women. Then she can cut grass every week.”

5

One of Harry?s feet was bigger and the other. “I can never find boots and shoes for my feet,” he said to his friend Dick.

“Why don?t you go to a shoemaker?” Dick said. “A good one can make you the right shoes.”

“I?ve never been to a shoemaker,” Harry said. “Aren?t they very expensive?”

“No,” Dick said,

“some of them aren?t. There?s a good one in our village, and he?s quite cheap. Here?s his address.” He wrote something on a piece of paper and gave it to Harry.

Harry went to the shoemaker in Dick?s village a few days later, and the shoemaker made him some shoes.

Harry went to the shop again a week later and looked at the shoes. T(轉 載 于:www.zuancaijixie.com 蒲 公英文 摘:英語簡短幽默故事)hen he said to the shoemaker angrily, “You?re a silly man! I said, ?Make one shoe bigger than the other,? but you?ve made one smaller than the other!”

6

Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off.

Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too.

The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back?” they asked.

“No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no address in my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’

s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.”

英語簡短幽默故事篇二：小學生英文幽默故事

貓和老鼠

Good afternoon my dear friends, I’m DingDing Pig. I will bring you a funny story about cat and mice.

Mrs. Brown went to visit one of her friends and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.

" What is it in your box?" asked the friend.

"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

Mrs Brown whispered,"So is the cat!" .

Thank you!

譯文

布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友,她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子.

"盒子里裝的是什么?"朋友問道.

"一只小貓,"布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠."

"可老鼠都是假想的呀."朋友說.

"小貓也是假想的."布朗太太小聲說道.

The Crab and His Mother螃蟹和媽媽

Hello, everyone. I’m Kitty Pig. I’m glad to tell you a story about the crab and his mother.

"My child," said a Crab to her son, " why do you walk

so awkward? If you wish to make a good

appearance, you should go straight forward, and

not to one side as you do so constantly."

"I do wish to make a good appearance, Mamma" said the young Crab;

“and if you will show me how, I will try to walk straight forward."

"Why, this is the way, of course," said the mother,as she started off to the right, "No, this is the way,"said she, as she made another attempt, to the left.

The little Crab smiled :“When you learn to do it yourself, you can teach me!"

Thank you!

“我的孩子，”螃蟹媽媽對兒子說，“你怎么走起路來這么難看呢？要想看起來像模像樣,你就應該徑直朝前走，而不是像你一樣總是朝一邊走�！�

“我真希望能像模像樣,媽媽.”小螃蟹說，”如果你能教我怎么做，我就會努力之朝前走.”

“哎呀，當然了，就是這樣！”媽媽說著，一邊就開始朝右邊走。

“不，是這樣的啦！”她說，一邊又朝左邊來。

螃蟹笑了，說：“等你自己學會了再來教我吧！”然后，他就回去玩了。

我真高興I’m glad.

Hi, lovely boys and girls. I’m Pony Pig. My story must be the most interesting.

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children,"said she , "Has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?" "Yes,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."

"Well done. Who was that?"

"My granny."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

"I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

Thank you!

一個主日學校校的老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性."聽著,孩子們"她說:"你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?" "我,"一個小男孩說:"昨天我就使別人高興過." "做得好,是誰呢?" "我奶奶." "好孩子.現在告訴我們,你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的.""是這樣的,老師.我昨天去看她,在她那兒呆了三個小時.然后我跟她說:"奶奶,我要回家了."她說:"啊,我很高興!"

英語簡短幽默故事篇三：英語幽默小故事1篇

英語幽默小故事1篇(翻譯)

A Fine Match

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mice, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shop. There she bought a mousetrap. The

shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful!

When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!勢均力敵

一天一位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她隨即沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一只老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點奶酪在里面，很快你就會逮住那只老鼠的�！�

這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家里，但她沒有在碗櫥里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因為已經很晚了。于是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進了夾子。

出人意料的是，這畫有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，當這位女士下樓到廚房時，她發(fā)現鼠夾里奶酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片!

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